He kissed a someone with a penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
