Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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