Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We have so much sex to catch up on
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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