he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize