Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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