giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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