You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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