dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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