Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
