Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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