And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?