She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?