I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we're making bets on your personal life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sorry about my life...