It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
25 ‘Manly’ Things Guys Do That Are Actually Really Annoying
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE