I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
