moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
