absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
