She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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