think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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