He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
