I must be too annoying 4 u.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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