I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
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How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize