Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
