Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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