I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it because I queefed?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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