all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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