Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
