I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize