I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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