Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize