Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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