Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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