one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am one with the molecules
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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