Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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