My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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