Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
