But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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