I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
