I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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