I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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