You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't deserve a penis
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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