just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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