pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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