thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
