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He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Randomize
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