I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize