if you like me you must not know who I am
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize