it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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