id be glad to
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.