in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize