i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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