I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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