Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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